They run along my outlines like borders, protecting my mind and my heart and my soul. At first, it felt like aggression, like building walls where I never wanted any. But I learned quickly that people who respect me, who take me seriously and see me as a whole, will never be bothered by those walls. They'll stay on the correct side, maybe with questions, maybe with sad smiles, but they will not cross the boundaries I put down.

Most of the time, when someone sticks to a boundary I set, I feel seen. I feel heard. I feel validated. Ultimately, I feel loved and respected. People who respect my boundaries often also seek to understand them, but will never push if I hesitate to give and explanation. And people who push will, in the long run, cross the lines I drew in the sand and thus kick themselves out of my life all on their own.

Some boundaries hurt, though. I know why I set them. I know why I had to close a door or block a number, why I had to remove someone's access to myself. Yet, that will not prevent me from missing them. I hate when people I love land on the wrong side of my boundaries. I hate when friends have to become strangers so I don't get damaged. Too often have I wanted to go right back into the fire, even while the burns where still scattered open and bleeding all over my heart.

I've learned to stay away. Sometimes I will put up a banner, something they can see from outside my walls, a little message that I still think of them, that I still miss them. It's silly and probably only hurts everyone involved, but I can't stop myself. I want to yell at them not to forget me, because I can never forget them.

Some people push and cross your boundaries because they don't care. And some people just don't know how to handle boundaries at all, not for themselves and not for others. It is important to step away when a situation damages you, and sometimes that leads to boundaries you never wanted to place, but that you needed to be able to heal.

I still miss the fire sometimes. There was comfort in its warmth, peace in the flames, love within its flickering light. But I have grown to love myself enough not to get burnt again on purpose. And maybe, someday, I'll find a way to become fireproof, so I can go back and make up for lost time.